What if..

What if i run away.
run away and don't come back.
climb a mountain maybe...
kayak into the sea...

what if i change my name.
cut my hair.
fly off to spain...
leave no trail
no trace again.

would you miss me?
would you remeber i was there.
would you wake up in the morning
and look to see if i came back.
would you wonder where i went to.
would you notice.

what if i found my dreams.
sent you pictures
out at sea.
let you share a piece of me.

would it matter?
would you hold on to it forever...
would you always remember...

what if 2 years go by?
your not the same
and neither am i.

would you still think of me sometimes?
wake up and imagine i was by your side.
or would you forget.

what if...

write you a story

im gunna write you a story..
i think i'll start with a list.
you won't like the ending.
you won't like what i miss.

but it needs the rough edges.
the seems broken too.
i don't belive in fairy tales.
it's the worst that come true.

you think you can rewrite it?
you think that it's wrong?
you think your imagination can hold the heart song?

i'm gunna watch as you read it.
your expressions the key.
it's possible you are the one.
that might make it real.

it's subject to change.
but my optimism is sparing.
you can laugh all you want.
but the seems are still tearing.

see it's really quite funny.
the characters fit.
but they always finish the same.
with something amiss'

you think you can fix it?
the errors and trails.
the run-ons and fragments.
emphasis and prevails....

i'm gunna write you a story.
i think i'll start with a list.
you won't like all the details..
but we'll finish the rest.

cheers to the best.

in the silence

Tell nothing and no one.
Tell them everything at all.
I took a hit on the weak side.
...but it's not enough to make me fall.

it gets cold in december...
but on the other side of the world. 
we watch skies slip past,
endless.
leaving voices unheard.

whisper lightly my child.
it's the silence worth hearing.
i waited there in the darkness.
but the words lost their meaning.

no one came to the funneral.
and the birth was too,
empty.
i looked on and remebered,
how inside those arms kept me.

no we watch as the mountains.
shift down into sand.
in the hieght of the silence,
their voices reprimand.

tell nothing and no one.
tell them everything at all.
even a hit on the strong side,
and i'll still take it all.

"I don't pitty him," she thought. as she tucked the phone away. it's so much easier to run then to stay... She yawns and blinks up at the radiating sun. Should have come sooner, but my shorts on and painted her toes. Should have ran at the mountains 'till they were under her feet, should have called him back... should have.

It's just hard ya see. Hard? Coward. Naw it is.. hard to sort it out in your mind. Easier to make eyes blind then to open them on scenes your dieing not to see. She stares out at the mountains. Feels the phone rumble in her pocket. Not sure who it is, but still ignoring it.

"can you explain this to me.. this world this thought.. this same spiral of instances over and over and over?" her mind crosses similar paths. similar trails. often paths less traveled by others. but traveled frequently by her tred. some slow steps and some fast.

it's all the same characters.. ya know. like a play, a magic play. all things you see in the movies. you hear about but they don't actually happen. "except to me," she thinks. She takes a bite of the apple. so simple, so natural, yet a taste of heaven.

all the same characters just different actors. like a casting call really. just different variables. but the problem is the constant.. quite constantly off ya know. The wind blows softly through her wet hair and she closes her eyes to let it kiss her face.

can it not be so nice. to just feel the sun, taste the wind, eat the apple. be free. "no, no because if you are free then everything wants to posses you." she sighs and keeps walking toward the library. such a lovely castle like place. but... you want him? don't you? don't you want a hand to hold. a voice to comfort.. yes.

but it's not the same. "i want to share," not give. not take.. but share... why must everyone always need to have. have have have.

same story. same characters. different actors. same outcome. She turns on her heel, drops her bag.. and runs away.