and i hope...

and i hope somewhere your smiling.
(I'll keep imagining you are)
and your arms are raised high.
as you run on through the stars.

and i hope somewhere your heart is free.
(no more weights or chains or reasons)
and sitting somewhere laughing,
as old equations find new meanings.

and i hope the pain is gone now.
(that every race is one you win)
and nothing can go wrong out there.
playing paintball in the wind.

i'll imagine that your happy.
(all your world are dreams come true)
that the complications of this world,
are gone and hopes anew.

and i hope that when you look down.
(in my mind your watching us)
you remember that we love you.
and you never will be lost.

too late

drown me in oil.
then we'll sit and wait for rain.
i'd have called you in the morning,
but it would have only brought you pain.

no there were no silly questions.
just the one's we never asked.
and i know some of the things said..
i wish i could take back.

so cut my heart out.
and keep it.
please, it should have been yours.
no i don't think that i'll need it.
i have nothing left to use it for.

i hope somewhere you are watching.
i hope somewhere your alright.
i hope you know that i am sorry.
for being so damn blind.

so now i'll sit here on this hill top.
let the frost attack my toes.
and pretend that you are with me.
though, that's not how this story goes.

so drown me in oil.
and i'll sit and wait for rain.
and i'll call you every hour.
though my calls are way too late.

seeds

it's not until the flower is bending in your hand that you realize
how fragile life is.
it's not until the stem snaps
and the leaves fall to the ground.
not until it wilts, and browns and crumbles,
that you actually can tell...
how easily it's broken.

but what you didn't think of...
was that the flower carries seeds.
seeds of hope.
seeds of pain.
seeds of light.
seeds of darkness.

what you didn't realize is that those seeds die too.
they waft off in the wind to grow elsewhere.
or they crumble.

seeds of life.
seeds of death.
seeds of nothing.
seeds of everything else.

now you sit.
alone and empty.
with death in your hands.

yet life still keeps going.
seeds are planted.
flowers bloom.
the sun rises and sets.

so fragile.
yet so signifigant.
one flower,
one stem,
enough seeds to change your life...

i was going to write you a song...

i was going to write you a song.
but forgot all the words.
it wouldn't have been very long,
and much like many you've already heard.

something about love.
probably a little of pain.
maybe a saying to remember.
and a tune that could carry your name.

i wouldn't have sang it allowed.
it wasn't for others to hear.
i was going to write you a song...
but forgot it when i felt the fear.

i recal it started with a hum...
just a minor note or two.
nothing to consider great,
just something to sing along to. 

i remember the start was quite simple,
the middle's where things got complex.
the end i no longer remember..
by then there were little words left.

i was going to write you a song.
i was going to give it to you.
it wouldn't have been very long...

i guess it's better you find something new.

spark

I remember all of it. Such a feel.. such a rush.. like a silence, I couldn't explain. So much energy, and power. Almost like a life force... almost, yet some how fleeting, somehow fragile. Nothing concrete or sturdy. Nothing tangable, just a feeling.. a substance so powerful yet so fragile you could loose it in a second.. yet in that same second have it all.

Such a novas thing. So sentimental, so real.. yet... impossible. A feeling is all. A shared idea that sparked with a simple hello, a simple flow of conversation, a laugh, a sparkle in an eye, a tiny gesture... an idea. Once planted, thus grows and turns into what...?
a flower?
a weed?
a tree?
or nothing at all.

stomped out by the tred of ongoing, never ceasing, always moving, tireless life.

but what if it did grow... what if it manafested.. and became.. and is.. and was..

what if..

i still remmeber.. so so cold. then, suddnely a light.. a spark, a flame perhaps...
but breif. Breif and fleeting and unremarkble. Yet... enough.
enough to start something that could never be forgotten.
enough to plant the seed. to seal the idea. capture the moment.

suddenly. there it is. maybe nothing. maybe something.. everything perhaps...
there. right in front of you.
and it suddenly all made sense.
made sense from what made no sense at all.

what's the saying.."your car goes where your eyes go"

my eyes were there. i remeber.

i hope you do to.