Sometimes

I want to know what makes your heartbeat. 

Mainly, I want to know if... sometimes, your heart beats for me. 

Not every day, not even every week, but sometimes. 

Just tell me that it's sometimes.

...and I'll stay. 

Little Lion

Do you ever feel that your brain is on fire?

That the slightest leak, even a trickle

will make the whole building collapse? 

You are so tired of explaining who you are and trying so desperately to be who other people want you to be that every thought, every vibration, every sound is too loud. 

It's thoughts through a smoke screen

it's a shadow through a window of a cat that was always a puma

that was always a lion 

that was ready to advance and rip out the throats of your enemies at the first sign of 

go, go catch the mouse instead

bury your head.

That's what they said, you are wrong, you are bad, you are damaged

What you want, what you need, it's too much

you are surrounded by voices who yell in anger and yet are just so out of touch 

and suddenly, they are imaginary 

and the world is a slipping place full of inaccessible inaccuracies that are, in fact, not all your mistakes

put your shoes on, little lion

stand up and take it back.

It is a fight between you deciding

if you deserve anything that you get.

take and take and take and take

why do they always want more?

Is it such an ungodly mistake, to realize that you don't even know what you're fighting for.

River

Can I love a river flowing

when it turns into a stream

or merges with the ocean

and carries away my dreams

Is love ever stagnant?

and if it were would it grow green

fill with frogs and algae

and become a different thing?

Yet, what about the motion, 

how it trickles then it grows

then it merges into another

will it lose me in the flow?

How can I follow with it?

How can I stay behind?

How can I change the right way?

Without losing my mind...

And what if I love the forest, 

that the river circles through

and get lost in the open

once the ocean water blooms?

Can I swim back upstream

the wrong way?

Can I fight the current flow?

Oh, hell, the progress

damn if it isn't slow.

Not to be contained

Oh please don't love me outright

You see, you see, you see,

it was from a past life, that someone better could possibly be me

but, no no not this time, 

this time it's just a test, 

a beginning and a middle and 

no one ever knows the end

because before the final chapter,

well, it turns out that she fled

to a different reality 

with a different cast

where she smiled the same way 

and called out different names

and everyone believed that it was from the depths of somewhere darker that 

she must have came

but the truth oh the truth is 

invention and reinvention and trial and error

here she is in the same dress

spinning around and around and around

driving some new man mad

can he keep her? 

what a laugh 

if he only knew, 

that he was just you

just a little less polished

just a little less cute

just a little more used

she's a runner, little lover 

she's a phoenix in a cage that you designed

before she burst into flames 

and you come to find

that the only person she's ever been is mine

so, please please don't make the mistake 

don't follow the pattern, oh so boring and plane

and please don't love her outright,

she isn't yours to contain 

she just leaves, slips the trap again

laughing all the way, as she cries and cries

through the pain 

of looking into new eyes with a new name 

and wishing it was yours all the same 

all the same 

all over and over and over 

again 

Everyday

Give me one reason

all excuses be damned

when I asked you for an answer

you just threw a wrench in all 

my plans

Oh cut me with your opal

the diamonds too damn

tired of harsh blood stains

in the iron 

of wild cards drawn 

in the night

I want a slight glisten 

of color 

held too close to the light

Give me something different

dear lord, it's all the same

oh life

oh life

well, Jesus

it's just so everyday

I want ripples and torrents

I want chaos I'll regret 

how I tire of this silence

the stagnance of the stay 

in the languid stillness 

that is, well,

just so every day

So, please give me

a reason

to run so far away 

to jump from all the clifftops

and will the sun to stay 

Give me something 

passionate 

and violent 

make me feel the pain

How is it better than the 

nothing 

of 

just so

everyday