I just wish I didn't miss you.
How it occupies my brain.
One minute I am working,
the next you're on my mind.
Like a slowly seeping cancer
just one thought and then a stream
of love and loss and loneliness
of hope and pain and dreams.
In a way, I think I hate you
for treating me this way
In another, I'm the villain.
Would it have been different,
if I stayed?
Now I'm standing at the presuppose
of a river soon to fork.
Should I flow down the stream
you stand near?
Or should I choose a different course?
Does it even really matter?
The choice has to be for me.
But, god, would I be lying
if I told you my heart has given up,
that my brain is not relentlessly stuck
on the thought of you and me.
Perhaps, we will be shadows
passing through the night.
I'll see you on the sidewalk,
smile and walk by.
Or maybe you're my future.
Only time will tell,
but, damnit, in the meantime
if this feeling isn't hell.
