Sensation

How can I explain this bruning sensation... It crawls benieth my pores and prickles my nerve endings. One second it's agonizing, and I melt in pain. The next second it's gone, done, nothing... I start to think, "hu, maybe I'm okay?" 

But then it's back again, tugging at me, pulling at my skin and making me scream. Scream from within the very depths of my being. So sad, so full of angst and hurt, full of need and want, full of... Nothing.

Nothing at all. What is it? Who are you? What the hell do you want? Does it even matter any more...

He doesn't love you. He's moved on. He's had time to get past it. He never loved you anyway, and why does it matter. You had the cards. You stalked the deck. Play the hand you play. Deal your deal and face the consicounses. That's life, my dear, that's life.

...is it? Is life so cruel and forward. Is there no real fairy tale, no notebook ending. Is that why it must be written, written and dreamed up... Because it doesn't exist? Because love is temporary and fleeting, love is frequent and ordinary. Love happens every day, and what is givith can be taken away.

I don't want to believe that. Please, make the buring stop; make there be light at the end of the tunnel. There has to be some fairy tale, some notebook ending, something... All things cannot be so meaningless and fleeting. 

I want to believe in love. I want to have love, to accept it and believe it is not only real, but that it can really happen to me...

But I don't right now. I want to... I really really want to. 

How can something that's so good, hurt so bad? And from so many directions. God, stick the knife and turn it, but do you have to stick another knife as well... 

Yes, yes you do. Because I stuck the first knives. I made the deal, I paid the piper... And now it's my turn.

Numb, cold

Buring, prickling

Nothing, fine

How can I explain this sensation...it melts in my mouth and it threatens my eyes. It tortures my bones and then... It just dies.

Make it all go away.

Light me on fire

Catch the wind in the flames.

One more desire,

And I'll just go insane.

I'm on empty, 

My gage has run out.

I thought this was all that I wanted,

But it seems I am landing without. 

Don't touch me! 

Please

I burn hot. 

Full of weight 

Of soul 

Of desire.

Full of everything,

That I'm not. 

Here in darkness.

In cold.

In the light.

In the reason there's nothing 

Around me, 

In the fact that it's darker inside. 

Hold me up,

For I fear I am drowning. 

Holding me down, 

I'm afraid I'm all right.

Feel the walls,

They are crushing around me.

Fill the cracks,

Seal the air out tight. 

It's okay.

It's fine.

No worries.

What I want.

What I need. 

I'm okay.

No, god damnit! 

It's hurting.

Please make it all go away.

Please make it all go away.

Please... 

Please...

Make it all go away.

Transcendent

The world, it is running on empty,

And all that I've done is for not. 

I watched you fade away in the sunset,

And I gave up all that I've got.

The weight of this place,

It surrounds me.

The fire within,

It burns hot.

The truth is I knew what I wanted;

I knew it and still gave it up. 

I don't say I regret what I've done here.

It was you, it was me, it was all.

I learned all the valuable lessons, 

But caused all others to fall.

Now my being is spinning around me,

What it wants?

What it is?

What will be?

I do pray that you've finally found me,

And you see what I want you to see.

There are questions 

that no one has answered. 

There are wispers 

That no one has heard.

The weight of their message

Sorounds me.

Even though what they say,

Is absurd. 

I can't fight these waves

Full of empty. 

They remind me 

of all that I'm not. 

And maybe you've grown 

To resent me.

Or maybe I'm

All that you've got. 

So please, 

Face this fire together. 

Hold my had

And fade in or fade out. 

The truth is, 

I can take whichever, 

If I know what this all is about. 

Here, now, I need you 

Beside me. 

I can't face this alone, 

No, not now. 

That's one thing,

I know without doubt. 

The Fence

Time is imminent,
life immense.
I can't come down,
from this towering fence.

One side's peace,
the other depth.
I need them both,
or I have nothing left.

Take my hand,
remind me now.
I messed up,
but my mind was sound.

The path is dark,
the corners cold.
I don't know why,
you were never told.

Please forgive me.
Please let me go.
Please still love me.
Just let me know.

I can't stop spinning.
The water's deep.
But, the thought of drowning,
is just too bleak.

Maybe next time,
or someone else.
I just have to,
except myself.