always running

breath coming in short blasts.
mind stuck on yet anouther of the same paths.

i wait. not sure what to think or feel or care about. who to be and who not to be. to run away or to come back.. just constant thoughts and messages traveling so fast that sometimes i finally realize what it is in my mind that drives me.

makes me move.

so the reason i am so tired.. always.. so exuastaned.. so moving.. so constant.
is but the fact that i am truly always running..

never standing still.. for even at night

when my body lays its limbs apon the bed and closes it's eyes, the motion only moves to my mind.

like a distnat race. hear the voices. feel the surge.

and i can't even keep pace anymore. i don't even want to chase anymore.

but i do and i take off.

wake up running.

fall asleep running.

stand still.. running.

on it goes. fast and slow. and i realize.
the problem.

is i can't keep up. can't keep up with the pace that i have set for the rest of myself.

and it's so intense i can't undertsand it. like two differnt bodys.

two differnt mionds anmd i can't type and think and spell and run and run and runm.