From the Inside Out

In discussion with my roommate today I realized an interesting aspect of childhood thought processes. She is someone I would consider to be very intuitive, analytical, and caring about others and the world around her. However, she told me that in her childhood and adolescence she had very little realization about the world outside her own mind and few memories of what she felt and thought about before her senior year of high school.

I guess this shocked me because I feel like I have always been very overly aware of everything. I often remember most things based on how I felt during the time, what I wanted to do to fix it.. or remember it.. or  make it go away. I have talked to others about their childhood memories and heard similar stories.. 

It just makes me wonder: As we grow do we start to realize things from the inside out and become more aware of things around us and how they impact us and us them? 

Or, for those of us who remember all of it... is growing the struggle to recognize things from the outside in? Is our maturing more to try to understand who we are and that we don't have all the impact or responsibility for the chaos around us?

I know my memories as a six year old, twelve year old, and sixteen year old are very different then my twenty one year old brain would process. As I age, I'm sure my forty and eighty year old brain will process them still further.. but I still wonder how much our interpretations of situations impact us as we become who we are, who we will be.. and remember who we were.

Are the forgotten things the scars of our hearts or the bandages over them? And of the things remembered.. how much is how it truly happened and how much is how we imagine it?

This life thing is pretty crazy and it seems the best things.. or at least the most vital... are the hardest.

I guess we only can think as we are, be who we will be, and remember what we receive. 

hmm.. oo the puzzles of life