pain of relief

She forgets there's air
when she wakes up breathing
(you never notice something
until it isn't there)

she never heard the silence
until they started screaming
(it's a price for peace
but no one pays the fare)

somewhere, sometime, in the depth below
rises reasons that you din't know.
she feels her skin,
but forgets her sole.
what really matters
hides deep below.

She smiles now
but something's wrong
she remembers words
but not the tune to the song.

holding hands before was always enough
but now to her the hand feels rough.

she never felt the cut
yet now it bleeds
(sometimes pain is hiding
far beneath)

she cries in the dark
(but can't tell why)
mascara dripping from her eyes.

is it real out there?
the wind and snow,
the sun shine she will never know.
can you feel the pain
or is it relief that hurts,
she worries that she's
...
something worse.